A Day I Will Never Forget

Aug. 15, 2009 Diane and I got up earlier than the kids, we got ready in our nice big bathrooms. Then while the kids were getting ready, we decided to go upstairs and see if we could find a place to make our breakfast. We found a really nice dinning area. We figured out it must be where the "assistant living" people eat. We thought, we are almost that age :), so they probably would not care if we ate our breakfast, before they came in for lunch. When we all where ready, we came back to mom's and visited with the family for while, before it was time to go to Bloomington to finish up last minute things before the wedding. We got to the wedding late--well late in Dawn's eyes. I guess there was a little misunderstanding, she thought we were to be there earlier. But she could not be mad too long, she was busy getting ready for her big day. I again, was in the "boys" room helping Spencer get his tux on right. Warren was in there too, so was talking with him. We were all happy, the day was beautiful, sunny and warm. Mom and dad made it and dad was feeling good---that in itself is a blessing, because he has many more bad days than good. We were all outside taking pictures, everybody with smiles on their faces. Now as I look at some of these pictures with us all so happy, I find myself thinking several hours later, I will be experiencing the worst tragedy of my life, and my life will never be the same again. . But of course I did not know that, so I was busy taking pictures of my handsome boy in the tux, and Brooke with grandma. The wedding went well. Bill's son played a very beautiful song for them to walk in on. After the wedding we all went outside to meet them and for the toasts to be made. Guess what----they did remember my birthday. Dawn had told her maid of honor, so in her toast she said it and then had everybody sing "happy birthday". Of course I had to stand out front on the porch and I had to think of something to say, but all I could think of was I will never forget Dawn's anniversary-----little did I know, I would never forget that day but for completely different reasons. I sometimes wonder why did God pick that day---my birthday and her wedding day to take my son home. I will probably never know the reason, but I try to think God does not make mistakes---His timing and plans are perfect. As you will see, I need to keep reminding myself that many times through this journey. The reception was over around 7:30-8:00 and it is time to go home. I drove mom and dad to the wedding, and they were tired and ready to go, so we left. God had blessed the day---dad was still doing pretty well for a long day, everything went as planned. Everybody was coming back to mom's to visit a little more. We all got back about 9:30. Mom said she and dad were just going to bed, they were really tired. April and Mark put the twins to bed and since it was just a beautiful night the rest of us decided we would change out of those wedding clothes and into shorts and go for a walk. It was warm out, the locust were making a lot of noise. We all said, they are much louder in Illinois than in Indiana, or Ohio. We walked all over town. We finally got back about 10:30. Spencer went into the livingroom to check up on his "my space", Brooke and I were standing in the kitchen, everybody else was in the family room visiting. Spencer heard my phone ring, which was in my purse right beside him. He did not answer it, but was coming out to tell me, when Brooke's phone started to ring. I was sort a watching her face, because I thought it was kinda late to be getting a call. I almost seen immediately that something was not right, her face was changing and she kept saying "I can not understand what you are saying". I kept saying "who is it". Pretty soon, she just hands the phone to me and says "it is dad, I can't understand him". Dread filled my heart and mind-----I already knew before he even told me---it was Taylor, but I did not think it was going to be as bad as it turned out to be. As I took the phone from her, all I could hear was a bunch of yelling and sobbing, but I did catch a few words and those words will be forever etched in my mind and heart. He said "Taylor was in a terrible accident". I could not stand to hear what was coming next, so I handed or more like it I threw the phone to Diane. She, as the rest of them---Keith, Autumn, April,(Mark had gone to bed) Warren, and Maggie were all laughing and talking, they did not even hear the phone ringing. They knew, which I am sure by the look on my face, this was very serious as I tossed her the phone, saying "Taylor was in a terrible accident" All eyes were on Diane as she took the phone and moved over to the rocking chair. Jeff did not realize I had given the phone to Diane and he kept saying, or trying to say between terrible sobbing that Taylor is gone----mom, we lost our boy. Diane knew we were all looking at her and hoping and praying for the best, but expecting the worst, or at least I was. Diane very clearly said back to Jeff----Taylor is gone. She said it mostly for us to hear, but also to make sure she got it right. She could not take anymore either, so she handed the phone to Warren. I have no idea what happened next, all I heard was Taylor is gone. I went to the floor---I think I sat, but not sure and held my head and kept saying "This can't be true-----this can't be true----He can't be gone----why couldn't he be hurt---My body was going into shock----I started to shake uncontrollably. I never cried, I only shook and kept saying this can't be true----. Keith went back into the bedroom and got Mark up. Some were crying, but most were just in shock. We went in and out the front door at mom's many many times, but I am so thankful neither one of them woke up----because we knew they were both exhausted and needed sleep and knew the next week they would get little of that. I was thankful that we were all together. We were always a close family, but this horrible experience has bonded us even on a deeper level----Keith is the one that usually has the funny one-liners and can always make you laugh, but when it is time for somebody to take charge---Keith was there and ready. As we all went outside, Keith grabs his cell phone and calls Neil and tells Neil what has happened and that somehow we have to get our family (Brooke, Spencer and I) back to Ohio as soon as possible. First they were going to fly us back, but that was not going to work. Keith then remembers he has extended family in Illinois, he calls them and tells them what has happened and asked if we could take back their van and they can drive our cars back. At this point I still thought I could drive my own car back, but later realized my body was in shock mode. As we all are in great distress, Mark says remember nobody knows yet, so nobody is praying for us, but by tomorrow everybody will know and we will feel the prayers. Little did we know, that the death of Taylor was spreading fast. By now it is probably around 2:30 and we all think we better try to rest alittle. All I could think was my Taylor, my Boy is gone-----how can this possibly be true. But of course the really big question in my mind, which I was too scared to even voice was 'where is Taylor". I could take it no longer, Brooke was sitting on the floor beside me, I turned and grabbed her face and I put my face two inches from hers and I said Brooke, he is in eternity---where is he. I knew he loved God, but he never really proclaimed his profession of faith to me with his mouth. This made me shake even more----I could feel myself thinking---God --why did you do this----I prayed so hard for that kid---his protection, his salvation---I prayed please don't take him unprepared. I will explain later what God showed me about that. So, now it was time for us, Brooke, Spencer, Diane, and me to go back to our nursing home rooms. The night before they were a nice place to go to get away, now they seems like a prison. Nobody said a word on the ride over, which is probably five miles---the only thing was Jeff called again and said that the corner told him after he examined Taylor the only thing he found wrong with him was a broken neck. I found myself saying again, why could it not have been a broken leg or both legs, arms anything but his neck. I wish I could say I felt God's presence at this horrible time, but I felt nothing but extreme shock and horror---my mind was shutting off. When we finally got back to our room, we said nothing as we took the elevator down to our rooms in the basement. The kids came into our room and sat on the bed for awhile, but I can not remember one word that was said at that time. Finally at about 3:30 we finally said we better shut off the light and lay on our pillows, because I knew that was all I would be doing. As I lay there---shock and horror just paralyzed my body. I will journal Jeff's side of this horrible day tomorrow. I hope the counselor was right that this will end up being a healing process by going through it day by day. I know it is going to be hard to relive every moment of this horrible experience, but I hope and pray everybody that ends up reading this will see God's mercy, power, comfort, and His Amazing Grace. Good night!