Today was a beautiful fall day. We went to Rittman to church to help April give lunch---can you imagine telling people you made lunch for six hundred people---impressive. For me, going to Rittman is easier than going to Smithville----Smithville has terrible memories for me---hopefully they will fade in time. Going to Rittman is very hard for Jeff. Taylor usually went to Rittman to be with his friends, so Jeff sees all these kids and Taylor is not there, so it makes it very hard for him. So, just where do we go???
I thought this was sort of interesting. One of my favorite verses that I have memorized is Isa. 40:31 and it says. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not get weary. They will walk and not be faint. I always sorta wondered what did it mean to soar on wings like eagles---I thought it sounded rather freeing---the wind blowing in my hair, flying high in the sky. The other night I was reading something about eagles and it gave this verse an interesting meaning. They said eagles can sense a storm before it arrives, so they fly to a high spot and wait for the inevitable winds to hit. When the winds come, the eagle will set its wings so that the wind will pick them up and lift them above the storm. Then while the storm is raging below, the eagle is soaring about it. The eagle does not escape the storm but simply rises on the winds to be lifted higher. So, God does allow storms, and this time it was a hurricane---But with His Grace I can soar on wings like eagles---I will not escape the pain, the loss, the grieving, but He will give me the strength each and every day to rise above the depths of depression, anger, and the terrible loneliness, but I need to hang onto those wings.
It really touched my heart that a couple of Taylor's really good friends went out to the cemetery on this very beautiful afternoon to visit with him. No, Taylor could not say a word, but they wanted to be close to him and talk about some of those great memories that nobody can take away from them. They are grieving just like we are. They miss that kid probably almost as much as we do. They probably seen more of him than we did in the last year or so. Yes, it is a different kind of loss---they lost a best friend, we lost a son, but a loss is a loss and we are all in pain and grieving. I know many people are still praying for us, and I am very thankful for that, but could you please say a little prayer for his close friends too---Thanks.
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Hi Deb, I have read all of your posts and have felt moved by your faith and have cried tears for your loss. I know there is so much healing yet to deal with but I am encouraged to see healing just a little bit with every post. It moves my heart to know you had a good day or could smile in the day. Dawn & I continue to pray for you & your family's healing! Steve
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