Praising God

How God answers prayer's is never the way you would think---God is never in a box, so I have to keep reminding myself not to put Him in one. For the last several weeks I have been praying that God would somehow give me a little glimpse of Taylor in Heaven or that he was OK. I did pray that it would be in God's timing. I just thought most likely, God would show me this in a dream, but knew i probably was not ready to see Taylor in a dream. That would be like seeing Taylor in our home video's and I know without a shadow of a doubt I am not ready for that. I can barely look at pictures. Then today I was working out at the rec center and had my i-pod in listening to a sermon by Doyle and he was saying how John the Baptist thought he was doing what Jesus wanted, but ended up in prison going to be killed. John thought maybe he did not understand Jesus right, maybe he misunderstood what Jesus was really trying to tell him. So John asked to be reaffirmed that he was where he was to be, and Jesus answered that prayer by sending someone to prison. As I was listening to this, the thought came to me to pray that God would reaffirmed that Taylor is safely in Jesus's arms, so that is what I did. Later today, I told Diane what I was praying, and she said I don't know if you should pray that or not, God has already given us more than we asked (we asked for only one sign that Taylor was with Him and God gave us a lot more than one) and maybe that is all He is going to give. She said, if God does not answer this prayer and is silent, that is going to be a door and a big door for satan to come in and plant a seed of doubt in your mind. I knew that could be a very slippery slope. So, I thought, well maybe you are right, God has shown me many times, and pretty soon, God is going to say "Ya of little faith". I came home, and a friend (Staci) stops by to drop off some more stickers of "in loving Memory of Taylor Gasser" (if anybody wants one to put on their car windows--let me know) anyway, I showed her those pictures of Taylor that Kirk brought by last night. We talked for about 45 minutes about Taylor and memories. Then she says "oh my boyfriend says to me the other day, this may seem strange, but I had a dream about Taylor. He said we were together and I looked at Taylor and said, I miss you Taylor, and Taylor says "oh, Don't worry about me, I am OK. I knew as soon as she told me this dream, that was God telling me "This is Me reaffirming that Taylor is OK and he is with Me." I probably had a shocked look on my face when Staci told me this dream, so I told her how I had just prayed that prayer of wanting to be reaffirmed eight hours earlier and God just answered that prayer. God never answers my prayers in a way I am thinking He will, but that is what makes my relationship with God so exciting. Yes, God took Taylor much too early in my thinking, but God has shown His Amazing Grace over and over through this horrible tragedy. Amber and Spencer both have had dreams with Taylor in them, but in both dreams Taylor never said a word, only smiled. Someday when God sees I am ready, I am sure God will give me a dream too. I give all Praise to God--He will help us out of this valley of grieving to the other side one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time.